Swiss Chris Part 1

It was the beginning of the fall, our current roommate was getting married, and as such was moving out into a new place, and thus it was left to us to find someone new that we wanted to live with. Unfortunately, there was not much time before the fall semester would start, and thus the prime time to find someone was drawing to a close.

Several people came and looked at the place....but each time no match was made. Until finally, we met Chris. Chris seemed like a normal enough guy, and so we agreed, as roommates, that he could join our apartment. However, things aren't always as they appear.

Chris was from Swizterland, and try as we might, we could not help but dub him Swiss Chris.

Swiss Chris, was an interesting guy, that none of us quite knew how to deal with. Even other people in the complex would comment on some of his oddities, such as jump roping inside the apartment while he blasted techno music (which he once explained to a group of us how it was truly the music of life).

One particular Friday evening I was going to the store, and offered to give Swiss Chris a ride, since he did not have a car. I grabbed the items I needed, and patiently waited as he finished his shopping. When we got back to my truck, he said to me, hey could we go to Reams to get produce? I like their produce better.

What?! Are you serious? To truly understand the shock of this statement, you have to understand the Reams store and the building itself. Reams was somewhat of a grocery store that also had a small section of clothing, that generally was associated with cowboys (think Wranglers, boots, and large buckles). However, far worse was the building that Reams was located in. The building was originally made by piling up a huge pile of dirt and then pouring a cement frame to form the ceiling around the mound. Afterwards, the dirt was pulled out, and voila you have a building. Before Reams moved in, the building had been used as a roller skating rink. The building was in deep disrepair, however. The ceiling itself was its own biosphere of life, teaming with all sorts of mold, mildew, and other less than appealing spots. In the hierarchy of grocery stores in peoples' minds, Reams was definitely the delipidated trailer park that people would only go in to play games, but to never actually make purchases.

Swiss Chris was determined, however, he wanted produce from Reams, and so to Reams I took him, and waited in the car.

Fifteen minutes later, he returned, carrying his prized produce. He got back into the truck, and said, "Man, this is lame....we should be out on dates right now."

"True, but it could be worse, we could be on a bad date," I responded.

"Bad date?"

"Yeah, you know, a bad date, things aren't going so well."

"No..."

"Like you don't have anything in common, or you just don't communicate well."

"No, I've never had a bad date."

I was shocked....yet somehow, with how he acted, I also wasn't shocked.

Riding home, we were stopped at a traffic where a lady pulled up next to us. Swiss Chris looked over and mouthed, "You're very beautiful." She blushed, laughed, and mouthed in reply, "Thanks." Perhaps I need to take tips from the foreign Cassanova....

To be continued...