Swiss Chris Part 2

It was a crisp October afternoon when Swiss Chris burst through the apartment door, "I met a girl from Switzerland today!" He was so excited to finally meet someone from his home country even though he was thousands of miles from there. Well, we all naturally thought, he's Swiss, she's Swiss, it must be a match made in heaven.

"So did you ask her out?"

"Of course! We are going Friday night," Chris replied.

The days seemed to drag awaiting the big night, Swiss Chris couldn't stop talking about it, but finally Friday arrived. After emptying half a bottle of cologne, Chris was off to the rental agency to pick up his car (since he didn't own one himself). I'm sure they smelled him coming from three blocks.

Although not always a big fan of hearing Swiss Chris's lectures/stories, I was somewhat curious to hear how this big date went. However, by the time 1am arrived, I gave up, and figured I would hear about it for weeks afterwards.

I woke up late on Saturday and decided to run a bit of errands. I was in and out of the house, but each time I passed Chris's room, his door remained shut. Finally, at 6PM that night, the door opened.

"Are you just getting up?"

"Yeah, it was a pretty late night, I didn't even get home until 2:30AM."

"230?! Wow that must have been some date eh?"

"No, it was BAD date!"

"A bad date?" I questioned, "But I thought you had never been on a bad date before." I said with a slight bit of mockery. "So, do tell, if it was such a bad date, what were you doing until 230AM this morning, just making out?"

"Well....."

"You are kidding me!! You were having a bad date and then you just made out with her all night?!"

"Well we weren't really talking much, and it was the only way we could communicate " Swiss Chris explained.

"Couldn't you at least talk about both being from Switzerland? Or people that you knew in common? You must have had SOME things in common."

"Let me start from the beginning. You see, we went out to dinner, and that wasn't going so well." Swiss Chris continued, "So we get back in the car, and she suggests we go to the cemetery. I thought was stranged, but ... okay, so we drove over to the cemetery. So ... we were just sitting there, and we were not really saying much, so we just started making out."

"Wait...hold on, you are telling me that you drove to a cemetery and made out all night? Are you serious?!?! Please tell me you are kidding."

At this point another roommate who had been listening walked up and said, "So what was the problem, you two didn't speak the same language?"

Swiss Chris Part 1

It was the beginning of the fall, our current roommate was getting married, and as such was moving out into a new place, and thus it was left to us to find someone new that we wanted to live with. Unfortunately, there was not much time before the fall semester would start, and thus the prime time to find someone was drawing to a close.

Several people came and looked at the place....but each time no match was made. Until finally, we met Chris. Chris seemed like a normal enough guy, and so we agreed, as roommates, that he could join our apartment. However, things aren't always as they appear.

Chris was from Swizterland, and try as we might, we could not help but dub him Swiss Chris.

Swiss Chris, was an interesting guy, that none of us quite knew how to deal with. Even other people in the complex would comment on some of his oddities, such as jump roping inside the apartment while he blasted techno music (which he once explained to a group of us how it was truly the music of life).

One particular Friday evening I was going to the store, and offered to give Swiss Chris a ride, since he did not have a car. I grabbed the items I needed, and patiently waited as he finished his shopping. When we got back to my truck, he said to me, hey could we go to Reams to get produce? I like their produce better.

What?! Are you serious? To truly understand the shock of this statement, you have to understand the Reams store and the building itself. Reams was somewhat of a grocery store that also had a small section of clothing, that generally was associated with cowboys (think Wranglers, boots, and large buckles). However, far worse was the building that Reams was located in. The building was originally made by piling up a huge pile of dirt and then pouring a cement frame to form the ceiling around the mound. Afterwards, the dirt was pulled out, and voila you have a building. Before Reams moved in, the building had been used as a roller skating rink. The building was in deep disrepair, however. The ceiling itself was its own biosphere of life, teaming with all sorts of mold, mildew, and other less than appealing spots. In the hierarchy of grocery stores in peoples' minds, Reams was definitely the delipidated trailer park that people would only go in to play games, but to never actually make purchases.

Swiss Chris was determined, however, he wanted produce from Reams, and so to Reams I took him, and waited in the car.

Fifteen minutes later, he returned, carrying his prized produce. He got back into the truck, and said, "Man, this is lame....we should be out on dates right now."

"True, but it could be worse, we could be on a bad date," I responded.

"Bad date?"

"Yeah, you know, a bad date, things aren't going so well."

"No..."

"Like you don't have anything in common, or you just don't communicate well."

"No, I've never had a bad date."

I was shocked....yet somehow, with how he acted, I also wasn't shocked.

Riding home, we were stopped at a traffic where a lady pulled up next to us. Swiss Chris looked over and mouthed, "You're very beautiful." She blushed, laughed, and mouthed in reply, "Thanks." Perhaps I need to take tips from the foreign Cassanova....

To be continued...